Monday, March 8, 2010
Had a few quiet moments to myself to walk in the woods at Q's aunt's house. There is an old stone wall, the kind I saw all the time when I lived in Massachusetts, and large pine trees, like the one in the backyard at the home where I grew up. I just don't see these things where I live now and I've missed them so much that a part of me has dried up due to this lack. A disconnection there. Seeing those things again, and to be in the woods, to hear the crunching of snow and the rushing of the creek water, all felt like renewal.
I feel it inside of me, this dry, empty longing that nothing around here will fill or repair. There's a comfort and familiarity when I am back there that I don't feel here where I live. Now, thanks to my love, I will have more opportunities to return to New England and New York and fill that space up and hopefully feel some peace and fulfillment because of it.