Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Bed Rest Chronicles Part 7: Holidays

Oh, boy. Here they come.
Kids are still munching on the last of their hoarded Halloween treats and the Christmas advertising blitz has started. In between the two are Thanksgiving, both our
birthdays and the little holiday that could, Hanukkah.

Let me just say right off the bat, it can be really hard to let go of those childhood memories that seem to seal forever in a glitter filled capsule how the holidays should be. I've had to remind myself on more than one occasion that what happens now is not the same as what happened in childhood, or even ten years ago.
And there's nothing wrong in wanting to carry those memories with us through life, if we have them to begin with, but like everything else, holidays change and evolve as we age and like fingerprints, they are unique to every person.

So here we are, Q and I, facing our first holiday/birthday season as a married couple and I'm stuck in bed. As mentioned in an earlier post, our Thanksgiving trip to see his family in New England was canceled, something we are both disappointed about.

Q told me the other day that holidays aren't important to him. Hmmmm. He also really dislikes Christmas. Double hmmmm.
Q loves the Winter Solstice. His fondest memories are not of official holidays, but his family's yearly maple syrup making event on their property in New York which were in every sense a family holiday.
I get that. And I feel a lot of the holidays are revenue driven, corporate produced balls of fluff, or religious events I have no interest in taking part in.

But...I love Christmas and I want to show Q that it can be a holiday for anyone who wants it, not just Christians, and it can be how you want it to be.
The day is ingrained too deeply in my psyche, I suppose and goes with me wherever I go in life.
I mean, for Pete's sake, I even love fruitcake. And every year I have to restrain myself to not go into an egg nog induced coma.

I've also taken part in the Jewish traditions and holidays that are part of Q's life and I feel it's only fair that goes both ways. Last year we exchanged gifts and had a Christmas dinner but, well, you can bring a horse to the Christmas tree but you can't make him drink from the tree stand.

This year, I'm already sad at the thought of what will and won't be for the next couple of months.
But I can get help in putting out some Christmas decorations. Gifts can be ordered through the Internet. And Q and I will continue to work on creating our own traditions and our own life together. Nothing bad about that.
Today I did some Internet research on stores that sell pre-made Thanksgiving dinners. They can be expensive and I feel we're taking a risk as they may not taste very good, but I think it's worth a try.

I do hope that Q will one day see the pleasures in Christmas. It isn't easy for me to take part in holidays that are primarily done in Hebrew and are based on beliefs I don't agree with, but I still find things to like, and just sharing those times with Q makes me happy.
Funny how the things you think you are unyielding on give way when you love someone.

Next year we will have a baby with us and we will be able to share our memories and traditions with her as she grows up and then she will create her own traditions and memories to share with her loved ones. I want very much for her to be able to decorate a Christmas tree, take part in a Seder, and learn how to tap trees and make syrup, as well as learn the recipe for my world famous stuffing.
Pretty exciting, if you ask me, and one holiday season stuck in bed seems a small price to pay in order for all of that to happen.

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